A few years back, after getting on a scale and nearly fainting in disbelief...I kicked tons-of-fun out of the drivers seat of my life and found exercise again. I have tried it before but am convinced it worked long term this time because I was not headed for a "goal weight". I had to integrate it as an outlet into my daily life- and whatever benefits came from it weight wise was just gravy (mmm gravy).
Of course, I meet daily obstacles, often set up my inner chub-star. She constantly wants me to make choices during the day and throughout the week to make me not want to work out. I will tell you one thing about her- she F*cking HATES to run. Here are some tricks and tips I use to distract her so I can:
- Think about food: When you see idiots like me running on the side of the road, you may think they are thinking about reaching their goal, challenging themselves, and pushing their own limits. Most people probably are. Not me. I am thinking about what I will eat when I am done with this horrible activity. My mouth waters more than I sweat. My conscious thought process is littered with waffles, grilled cheese, pasta, and burritos. If I let her think about these things- she gets distracted enough to let me get some calories burned.
- Run faster than your fatty: the first mile is the worst...the tubby whore can actually keep up. Mile 2, she weakens me....whispering in my ear that the golden girls are probably on and she thinks there may be noodles in the freezer. But by mile 3, she is done. I cannot even hear her. granted, I am done shortly after as well. But the point is this- run till you cannot hear her and don't let her choose the route. Suddenly you are running into liquor stores and burger kings and all hell has broken loose.
- I run drunk: Before you judge, this is not all the time. Sometimes after work, she and I have a heart to heart and we go out and drink with my work friends. maybe 2 or 3, tops. When we come home, while she is basking in the buzz, before she can get to the fridge, I throw on my running clothes and make her do a quick one. It never feels good and she gets MAD. But a little running is better than none at all. I just stick to the sidewalks and avoid cars.
